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yorukamome [userpic]
impermanences... (1)

still summer, but something in the air already says IT'S ABOUT TO BE OVER...I hate these moments - oh, not because
of being back to work or any similar obvious stupid all-human considerations and moods...simply, I hate rain and cold
and winter, but more than that I DEEPLY HATE the thought itself of bad season coming again, while I'm for instance
sitting and silently watching a full mediterranean moon wrinkling with HER silver pen strokes the still warm, lazily waveing,
dark blue seawaters...once again, too many words - I seem to remember that I've already posted this ku back in the years,
but such a dawn deserved the honour of being told, even through my poor lines:


asa kitari ・ samuku narikeri ・ umi niou

sea fragrance getting colder, on new morning break

Phenomenal Photgraph...but only if it was cold...ihihih

The photograph deserves an award, but your remark about summer leaving I will not hand you even a lollipop. As you know, I look forward to cold weather. I am counting the days for summer's end...not too far away now, looking at the calendar. nights are chilly now, the fire place will soon be set ablaze...and I will be so very cozy, once again.

lol lol lol

Re: Phenomenal Photgraph...but only if it was cold...ihihih

This late summer evening you speak tough and throw thunders.

I growl but never bite, I am just a harmless dog, like your Sappho and my Chico. My dog doesn't even bark. No kidding whatsoever.

Re: Phenomenal Photgraph...but only if it was cold...ihihih

I agree, stef!

Re: Phenomenal Photgraph...but only if it was cold...ihihih

not even a poor lollipop?!?...GRUNT, you wintery coldhearted meanie one!


too hot today...

but is so hecks-a-hot today, and even if I tried I can't get cold enough. too bad...for you. Aargh, aargh, aargh!

Re: too hot today...

want me to send some of my North Sea gulls with
ice cubes to refresh your seat? LOOOOOOOOOOL!

I love the photo

and this very poetic line "sea fragrance getting colder"

but I'mn not suer how the last phraze "as morning is back" fits the rest, not sure I understand it.

Also, "but something in the air already says IT'S ABOUT TO BE OVER..."
Yes, wild birds headed South.

well, often uneasy to have a RIGHT translation
giving the same sense...not because of meaning,
you know...it's that Words in different languages
sound so different, and sometimes seem not to say
the same at all! anyway, just tried to change with
"on new morning break"...

I like it a lot, much more than the original version/translation.

Also, it occurred to me that you could perhaps amplify the contrast by switching the lines around; e.g.:

[on] new morning break
sea fragrance
getting colder

Not sure it's better or not; it's but another angle or point of view.

Edited at 2008-08-26 07:02 pm (UTC)

totally respectable personal point of view, which takes me to realize how
all what I said above doesn't only happen with the mere translation, but
also with...how can I explain what I'm just thinking?...well - with the
SOUNDING IDEA OF POETRY that every speaker of every language has...I mean,
as the italian/all-western speaker that I was born, I FEEL the "layer" of
japanese - with its CLEANNESS and IMMEDIATENESS - perfectly responding to
a spoken sequence where that so peculiar sort of a BREAK/INTERRUPTION/
SUDDEN CHANGE OF IMAGE caracterizing the haiku has an ENORMOUS importance
for the understanding and following the sense...which BREAK is the hardest
thing to GIVE to reader, when one essays the same haiku in further
"TRANSLATIONS"...oooh, too many words again, NE? sorry!

Beautiful haiku, and truly spectacular photo...

thanks yume dear...it WAS a spectacular dawn!

I like your haiku.
It hit human heart.
I love this gloomy scene of Amalfi with the special colors of sea and sky.
I think it is very similar to Issa's haiku which is referred to the before time of
snow falling. It predict long winter days begin.
People feel melancholy on the days of changing season.


yes, sakuo sensei....actually it was, although just a little
colder, a splendid summer dawn with those apparently heavy
early morning clouds, ready to fade away after the first
sunrays...but the feeling and mood were for me exactly the
ones you say!

I'm with you (sorry, Wic). I too hate the cold.

I am glad you posted this again, for new readers like me.

too kind of you, snaky...I seem to remember that
the first time I posted that it was only a shodo
FOLIO, without any image - but I'll go check it,
now I myself am getting curious as well!

come cavolo riesci a scrivere haiku COSI belli???

e che ne so? escono e basta...ma tu non lo conoscevi già?

no, non mi ricordavo...

Nothing is over. And the end is always beginning of something new.

UGH, you're right too...but what can I do if I hate cold?

My little recipe while of cold times:

OK, it sounds, parodoxally, but:

on hot crêpe you put an icecream, and drink black tea with a little bit of rum in it. (You can refurbish the ice with egg liqueur.

It does wonder, I say it as somebody who came from cold regions :-)
In the same time, I'm not a drinker, and I never drunk vodka. But this recipe can really save while of cold times of year.

oh damn'...NOW I understand why I can't afford
even the lightest cold...I'm totally absthemious!


...ho appena sbirciato nelle tue User-infos e ho
visto che ti sei fatto un ACCOUNT A PAGAMENTO!


Parlando in termini strettamente economici... è
costoso? E cosa ti offre di più di un ACCOUNT PLUS?

(se preferisci, rispondimi pure via mail...)


andy, in totale sincerità, non sapevo io stesso di averlo!
è stato un regalino di wicapis per il mio compleanno, un
anno (credo) di account plus...ma giuro che manco so come
diavolo funziona!