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June 2016
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yorukamome [userpic]
a spiked night

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a thought - evident, sudden, unpleasant- struck me as soon as I woke up...I thought that a friendship
doesn't ask only for PRESENCE - although this is the most important component of it: suddenly, I’ve been
hit by the importance of the WHY...I mean, "why do I offer myself in SUCH A WAY?...my friends say
so (too) often of me things as "artist" and alike, and it seems to me so silly to offer right them
only this conceited and vain part of me" - I need therefore to explain this presence of mine, since
it seems to be till now not a BEING, but an APPEARING: and I keep on running into myself
the bad impression of sitting here and yell at you all "hey ya, people!, come and see how BRAVO I am!"...
...yes, I know, even now I risk to give an idea of "justification", unrequired and some stupid - but
I believe that I owe this to all of you...and since I am neither a literate nor an essayist, I have
asked for help to the baggage of my memories, and I have found in a forgotten drawer three things
(three pearls) which will be far clearer than these few poor words of mine, still confused by the
numbness of dawn: I don't dare translate in full the first one, that certainly will be far more appreciated
by everyone of you when reading it in his/her own madrelingua - the second doesn't need any translation
(it’s even too much known), and the third can only be FELT...would you mind, please, losing only
a few minutes of your time to search and look for them - and please imagine, when you’ll be
reading listening feeling, that I too am there with you in your "cha room"...?

• Natsume Sōseki, KUSAMAKURA (grass pillow)– chapt.1, the opening first about 50 lines;
• Simon and Garfunkel, BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER;
• Wagner, TRISTAN UND ISOLDE, "death of Isolde", closing pièce of the Opera.

ps: I also thought I should traslate these lines in some more languages, but that would be as well
sort of some "back to presumption".

justifications unrequired

Gabbiano... I've read ALL... but, how can you justify after what you have done?:-) It's a GREAT work kamome...!!! as usual... BRAVO!

Re: justifications unrequired

....era dovuto, da parte mia, andrea様: tu sei italiano come
me, e conosci bene quanto me quel senso di PESO che si prova,
relazionando con qualcuno "troppo-di-tutto"...grazie, davvero.

Re: justifications unrequired

Si... lo capisco...

Souseki grass pillow

Here is Souseki's original.

I love [grass pillow] very much. When I was high school boy, I red the book
every night before getting into bed.
I sarched the opening first 50 line, but I could not find the text in Japanese grass pillow.
Please check the Japanese original, and let me know it.


Re: Souseki grass pillow

really, lots thanks, sensei! it's right this page, and
you guessed exactly what I was meant (and missing!),



Your words are so beautiful, my dear Kamome...they have such a power to move
all my emotions and memories...I didn't expected that and I never would!
And then you said these beautiful things about your appearance in others'
lives, and about friendship...don't say you're not literate,'cause I will
never believe it to be true while you have such an easiness in changing
thoughts into words, words that say so much!
And then you shared with me your precious things from your forgotten drawer
and everything came back to me..."Bridge over troubled water" is something
extremely personal to me, it reminds me about the friend I used to have once,
before everything changed and I got to know what loneliness really is...oh,
Kamome, you touched so thin string, I though I would never hear about that
song anymore...I guess all I can do now is say "thank you", for making me
finally deal with it...

I promised I would re-address your message, and I have kept
my promise, Lil'Me...it is so nice to see you in this nest!

Beauty and Pain

Dearest Kamome-san, you are neither a literate nor an essayist, as you put it, but you are able to touch the deepest of soul with what you see, write and draw.
To me you are a beautiful BEING. APPEARING - well... it's a HUGE reduction, and, I hope, everyone keeps it in mind - the difference between image and personality... The first is only the fraction of it, although very much coherent. What matters is the sense of the whole world of beautiful and sorrowful life behind appearances... What's implicit is important.

Re: Beauty and Pain

very many thanks, vash様...but, you see? every try I do to speak about me
suddenly hurts my ear and soul, in the moment itself I'm typing my thoughts
out of my mind: no matter the sentence I choose, it always sounds to me as
one more step to get applause, an added drop to the subtle, silent, untrusty
poison cup of a CAPTATIO BENEVOLENTIÆ...let me say, truly not a nice feeling.

Re: Beauty and Pain

I hope I understand. There is this normal basic desire to be one with cosmos. Sharing, opening oneself is part of this desire. :о))

you know... at first I've had too much words to say you here... but then
I've left a few of them:
I KNOW that you're not yelling for BRAVO :) and even when I say you smth like 'very nice!' or just smiling to you - it's only because I'm sharing your feeligs at the moment when you were painting/writing your piece/haiku/etc... because I can feel the same :)

I'm just glad that I've met you here one nicest day :)

...and I'm glad you were here that day...

thank you for telling about the three pearls. i will look them up and think upon their importance. art and poetry are meant to be shared between hearts, never to be misused for ones greater good. you are a pure soul.

well...saying THANKS here would mean the same as my missing
post-scriptum of above, bette dear - but I haven't any other
words to express my gratitude, as well as the pleasure of
sharing my world with a purer heart: please come more and more
often, and enjoy the pearls, they deserve your attention...

«Who wants to live forever»
In luggage of memoirs
the Dawn pearl

right, yamasama...yes, Dawn and its pearls, after
those nights when sweetness surrenders to sorrow...

You painted what I heard last night..........

this painting of yours is fabulous and it also reminded me of last night..

last night while I sat outside gazing at the stars and the waxing moon, I heard the cry of a lone gull in the distance...for a second or two I thought I was by the beach...came to my senses and realized I was still sitting under the moonlight in my own backyard. This image/painting brought back the same senses/feelings the I felt last night gazing at starlight! Danke.

far away in solitude she heard the sound of a lone gull under the star lit sky... in the far shores of the mediterranean the painter captures in color the sound and sights...

Re: You painted what I heard last night..........

thanks, so kind and shared in deep heart, wick様...and maybe
it was me calling you over your night - don't you remember?


yoru o tobu kodoku na kamome osorenaku

no seagull dares flying through the night, but one

Re: You painted what I heard last night..........

In all honesty...I did think of you for a split second because of the sound of the sea gull.

strange this life, how it stirs memories of the one you have never met before in sounds and sights.

maybe that is why spiritualists say that we are all interconnected.

Thank you my friend.

Re: You painted what I heard last night..........

no, wick...thank YOU for recognizing my voice and
my presence through your beautiful moony nights...