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yorukamome
yorukamome
..:.:::.::

June 2016
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yorukamome [userpic]
fireflies

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

手の上に 
蝋の嬉しく
蛍持って

te no ue ni
rou no ureshiku
hotaru motte

on the palm of my hand a wax firefly

I was in doubt whether I’d better use “aru” (existing tense for inanimate) or “iru” (animate),
as I was painting the candlelight under the firefly living form – finally, I chose something
perhaps wrong and which will need correction, although I have found it in such a position
in several ancient haiku: “motte” (motte iru), which is the equivalent of “having”.

here, too, some days later, corrections just have come, although "filtered" by my needs in the
new composition...here, too, I won't touch the image, but only post the new version, in which
I also found something SO nice: the kanji 平 "hira", staying for the palm of hand, also means
"calm, serene, smooth, sweetly easeing", and it is so amazing that it would suit RIGHT here!:

手の平に 
蝋の蛍を
持っている

te no hira ni
rou no hotaru o
motteiru

Current Music: schubert,"improvviso" op.90/1,3D 899, # 1
Comments

No matter how you say it, this is such a beautiful image ~P

very many thanks, choshi様. as you see, I need to supply with
images what my words are too poor to say...even if I know well
that you were meant to say the haiku, not just the photo: you
are always so kind to me!

warm, living apple - my hand knows the wheight of the Universe

(no subject) - (Anonymous)
(no subject) - (Anonymous)

beautiful, fifi様...here, I too would say HANDS as well:
as you yourself can appreciate NOW, "arms" are different...

Warm hajku :)


fire of the candle
I bear in gift to friends --
shining heart


огонек свечи
несу в дар друзьям --
светящее сердце


P.S. I am sorry for my English - I could express incorrectly the idea on it :(

never mind, dear irisha様...I can understand, and
if I cannot I will ask fifi様 to translate... ;D

The image is beautiful!
About haiku - is it necessary to duplicate: hand-palm? May be "om my palm" is enough? And I want to ask the meaning of word "wax" in your poem (my English is not very good) - it means "beeswax firefly", firefly from beewax? Or "growing firefly"?

well it is currently said "the palm of my hand", and I also
find the expression warmer and far more clear than a simple
"on/in my hand"...yes, I mean exactely BEE WAX: I liked to
associate the idea of a candle, self-consuming in warmth
and light, with the image of a firefly (which turns on its
"candle" when searching its mate) consuming itself in love...

Oh yes, this is such a beautiful idea, Kamome sama, and it's expressed perfectly clear, imo. When in love, aren't we all consume ourselves for the sake of our loved ones?

look, the firefly!
consuming itself in
a flaming love

:-)


So beautiful - both the image and the haiku - and the comments are very interesting, too. You have a nice company here, dear camome!

Funnily enough, this candle looks like some delicious fruit to me. A magical one, obviously. The way it nestles in the palm, its bodily heaviness, and this warm glow... it looks alive.

yes, mushuk様...in heart and pen, I have a splendid company, as
your mirror will confirm once again when you cross its sight...
...and it is all of you who give the blow of life to my pages:
心ばかりで (little but deep from heart) どうも有り難うございました。