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yorukamome
yorukamome
..:.:::.::

June 2016
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yorukamome [userpic]
for wic

thanks by heart to wicapis for this beautiful little pearl, which to I dare add a couple of
my "vagabond haiku", recently written as comments/replies to her's and andreochka's
later pages: they will perhaps sound in some way "off-topic" herein...but I wrote them, as
I usually happen to do, with my gull's eyes and pens and mind...:


the first one, quickly typed down after a wicapis's beautiful sequence of morning haiku:

曙が
目が覚めさせる
花弁に

「akebono ha ・ me ga samesaseru ・ hanabira ni」

"...dawn, awakening the petals..."

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the second, translating to english and japanese (oh, so poor!) andreochka's latest ku
(and, for once, I also dare try an italian version, I think italian is good for haiku):

僕の句を
砂に書いたや
波が消す

「boku no ku o ・ suna ni kaita ya ・ nami ga kesu」

written on the sand
yet stolen by a wave
my haiku.

fatto di sabbia,
già rubato dall'onda,
l'haiku che scrivo.

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for all my LJ friends - follow me, come share the same freedom and joy,

夜かもめ 「鴎庵」

Comments

You are most welcome and by the way, are you done with school yet?

I will be next tuesday...SKREEEEEEEEEEEEK!

i've seen this before and i really love it. i can watch it over and over.

i'm so happy now since i've known gabbi, that now every time i see a gull, i see them in a different way, a much deeper way.

thank you for sharing this video and thank you gabbi and wic for your friendships.

love you,
bette.

thank YOU, bette, for your "new eyes".....yes, a gull's life is often
way harder (but all the same, way happier and free) than we can imagine:
I'd say DIFFERENCE and DEPTH are the right way to understand all that...
and you can't even imagine how pleased I am when I read such Words, for
my poor presence pushes everyone knowing me to become some little more
"winged Being", and I'd dare say TO THINK DEEPERLY some more...thanks!

bellissimo! Nei primi due minuti ho pensato a Minori...

lonely seagull
sky-rocketing
stormy sea

:)

salam! :)))

thanks for the nice ku and comment, rad - you and
your WRITTEN EMOTIONS are always the most welcome!

written on the sand
yet stolen by a wave
my haiku.


simply beautiful. YOU should treat us all with your poetry again, Gabbi. It's truly music to the soul. Grazie.

I have missed your poetry.

wic


this one's not mine, wic, it was born by andreochka's
pen and heart...I just tried and offered my translations to english
(andrea was not at all "convinced" of the previous versions he had),
japanese and italian...so I turn your compliments to the real TREATER!

thank you for your romantic video.
I could fly on Italian sea as if I were a gull.
It is alike a dream to fly over sea with music of wonderland.

sakuo.

yes, and I felt the same when I first
watched it, sakuo sensei...it feels so
good to know we are sharing such a time
and sensation, ね?

夜かもめ。

Very nice haiku in Japanese as well as English.
I suppose your Italian original would be much better than those two language.
とても気持ちの良い俳句ですよ。

sakuo

thanks, sakuo sensei...I'm VERY proud to know that my
little nihongo doesn't need too much of corrections
this time!...you know the second haiku coming from
andrea's excellent pen, so it was easy to write its
translation because of the many chances it offered
in giving back its sense - as for the italian, well,
I generally don't use of my language to write haiku,
and my opinion was "oh, well...too much of POETRY!"
after typing it...too Lyric, if I can express my
idea - but this is one of the main problems that a
mother language creates to evry writer, I suppose...

Did you insist that Italian is so lyric that it flood out the size of Haiku.
Is this saying correct to your feeling?
If so, I will recommend one of method.
At first, you write and sing the content in your mother tongue,
then, your shrink and cut as possible as you can into three line as well as containing Kigo(season word).
You would be suffered in this process, because you must give up
almost all that you have made.
At last stage ,one two and three phrase come up rhythmically.

Talk too much and cut almost, then poem becomes imaginative.

sakuo.

thanks lots for this precious suggestions, sakuo sensei:
it actually IS a suffered method, because of the loss of
one's almost whole composition...thanks the Kami, I'm one
lucky "composer" by this point of view, for my writings
generally see their birth as - how can I say? - well, the
nearest definition is "pictorial sequences": I keep intact
in my mind and eyes the instinctive imagination's behave
that I have always considered MY FORTUNE, sort of a visual
quickest elaboration of my sensations and thoughts...but it
is necessary anyway to follow in some measure the process you
showed so clearly - the nature itself of haiku drives to that!

yorukamome

Every language have it's original character.
We make our image fixed with language.
So every image creating process depend on each language.
I don't mind to insist that my process is the best way to make
haiku.
I am envious that you know Italian, English and Japanese.
I wish to ask you to teach me the multi-communication between
different countries.

sakuo.

I don't agree with this, sensei - I think that
the mental process is independant from any even
"mother language"...or, at least, this is not the
way it features its images in my mind, as I've just
explained...but I agree that images are fixed and
"made better" through language - and, naturally, the
one we manage the best is the one allowing us the best
results...as for my "linguistic skills", well - MAYBE
I was able to "know japanese"!...I admit my english has
been growing LOTS because of my LJ frequentation and
daily speaking, but nihongo... しくしくね!I couldn't
teach you anything but my little italian, LOL!
:-(

夜かもめ。

my haiku
scribbled on the sand
gone with the wave

nice version, vlad...thanks for adding new
nuances to andrea's beautiful lines!