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yorukamome
yorukamome
..:.:::.::

June 2016
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yorukamome [userpic]
swallows

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

in its original version (april) this haiku says 「春」 "haru-spring", not [夏] "natsu-summer"...
but there are so many splendid, screaming swallows riding the sky over my town, tonight! 

街屋根の 
天をうつろふ 
夏燕 

machi yane no
ten o utsurohu
natsu tsubame

from the roofs of my town they jump to sky - summer swallows

Current Music: a hundred thousands swallows' joyful voices
Comments

Oh, how I like swallows! Just as we they can't fly up from ground - at first it is necessary to clime up without wings...
Well done, Kamome! - I like this "jump to sky". Haiku is good. But the couple with photo... The photo can be more dinamic and not about the same (written in haiku) - photo amd haiku must supplement each other, not duplicate...

thanks, taysha 様...I agree with your theory of "supplementarity":
that was the main reason for me to choose this so thoughtful and
silently quiet image...sincerely, I do believe I'm doing exactely
what you suggest, as the dynamic of thousands swallows' excited
happy flight seems to me elegantly and soulfully balanced with the
"calm depht" shown by this thoughtful, cheerful couple of "serious"
birds - sort of a strong felt "japanese" attitude, they sit and enjoy
watching an HANAMI of their same family filling the sky - as well as
the grey/sepia/white colours and tones themselves of the photograph
seemed to my eye a splendid "contrappunto" to such a "poster-like"
glorious violet/orange lights of a summer seaside after-sunset...

Ok, dear Kamome, if you feel so, let it be so. I can only give my view.
Saying about "supplementarity" I mean that there must not be simultaneously birds at your photo and in your haiku... For example at the photo there can be a glass on the table against the sky with tea and floating tea-leaves... or smth else, but smth OTHER, not the same swallows...

oh...sorry for my misunderstanding: I think anyway
that it CAN be useful or not to "accord" to the main
theme - but maybe I cannot go too far from the so many
images of haiga and "illustrated writings" I've been
having under my eyes and which I keep so treasurely
in my mind and heart...and, after all, I believe, I'm
always in the same line of the SCRIBE - and this is
unfortunately a biggest part of my being too a western
interpreter of japanese verse...but thanks lots indeed.